Spanish Pipedream: December 2012

Been a wife for about 5 weeks now. Just finished "our first Christmas."

It's been fun. That's my response to "How's married life?" Cause it is so far. People may say "is it really that different?" And the answer is yes, cause Joe and I were not really living together before.

So waking up and going to bed with someone on workdays is different and fun. We fell into a morning routine pretty easily (which I'm sure is interesting to nobody...so you can skip to next paragraph): Joe tends to start the coffee and boiling the eggs while I start to get ready. Then he gets ready and I finish up breakfast and get our lunches ready (which entails putting frozen food and other snacks in a bag. I abhor sandwiches ...both the eating of and making of sandwiches). Then we're off to work in the same car. Fun fun fun. (once you're married your idea of fun drastically changes).

Whether our future involves children or not is yet to be seen. We've seen enough struggles and heartache of others to know that no matter what we want, it could or couln't happen. And we won't know until we decide we're ready to know. Ya know? Anyway, the point is we have enough friends with children to realize how precious our freedom is. We don't even have pets. As much as I want two ittle bitty kittens, I love that we can just pick up and go. No responsibilities beyond making sure the coffee pot and the air is turned off before leaving. Our New Year's plans are New Orleans. Our weekends recently have consisted of bar hopping with childless friends, staying out past midnight, and swinging by Sonic/Taco Bell before calling it a night. I know...we're pathetic. Midnight..ooooo...we're so wild. This should not be an accomplishment. But it is for us. And it has been fun. Sitting around the table one night at Ajax with a group of people I thought, "This won't be forever." We'll get older. People will have kids or ... [insert other adulthood events] and this will end. This is so fun right now. I want to enjoy it while it lasts. Just my overuse of the word "fun" in my last few posts could prove later that this is the time of our lives.

In the meantime, our goal for now is to decide what to do about a house. We feel like the smart thing to do (since our plans don't include leaving Oxford ANY time soon) is get one. This whole house-buying business makes me feel more adult than having a husband, kitten, or child. We have laid out a "one-pay-check challenge" for ourselves for the month of January. The goal: (it's pretty self explanatory) live off one pay check for the month / save money. The real challenge: how to take the one-check-challenge while also "enjoying it while it lasts." We don't want to lose friends because we are trying to save. We don't want to miss out on this wonderful time of little responsibility. We are not willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING. So maybe we're not ready for the one-check challenge. We're naive enough to think we can do it. Just have one drink instead of 3. Split an appetizer instead of ordering two entrees. See, we can still have a social life and save money. (You think I don't, but I do see you rolling your eyes).

I would like to end with tipping my hat to two couples with kids. Amber and Duncan -- 2 kids and a newborn. Also, Thomas and Madelyn. 2 kids, one on the way. Both these couples are raising kids and also trying to sell a house. Our time and friendships with these couples make us realize... well ... make us glad we don't have kids yet. We also realize if we're ever in their parental shoes, we will need all the help and wisdom they can offer.
One day I'm sure we'll look back and laugh at how proud we were of these insignificant accomplishments: establishing a married morning routine, cooking 4 days a week instead of eating out, living off one pay check for FUN. We will probably yearn for the days when this was our life. Which is all the more reason to enjoy it now.

Our first thanksgiving

Move in day


boys bathroom


Husband chair

husband chores

husband life is hard

         If I thought getting engaged was fun, getting married was really fun. Planning to get married was not really fun. Some how we pulled it off.
Here's how it went down:
One week after engagement Joe and I were driving around looking at possible reception locations--not fun at all. So between Joe, my dad, and me (I?) we came up with an alternative wedding plan. Dad wanted us to elope. For real elope. Ideally we would get married without his knowledge and then call him up afterwards to inform him the deed was done. Those of you thinking, "Oh that's not REALLY what he'd want. He's your dad." You know nothing and you are wrong. Joe and I wanted some form of ceremony and small celebration, but we did not want the big thing. Fast forward to when mom got home (she'd been hiking), we had it all laid out. Get married in Southaven, go party on Beale Street. Invite some close friends and fam to come along if they want.
   That's mostly what happened, but mom made sure it wasn't just "Y'all come on to the bar if you want...whatever" We provided food and drinks through the bar (Rum Boogie) and had a little (ok a lot) more southern hospitality than my original, discourteous plan. Thank God for mamas.
               It was hard drawing a line when it came to the guest list. We basically just went with who would've been bridesmaids/groomsmen. Once you added them plus dates plus family... that number jumps up fast. People tell you "just do what you want." We wanted small so we drew the line even though it meant not including some very dear people in our lives.
Like I said, we pulled it off and it was my favorite day. But even planning the little wedding we had was at times more than I could handle along with teaching (refer to Year 2 post).

As your wedding approaches, more than one person a day asks you "Are you excited?"
I was baffled at how often this was asked and, at first, irritated that these people didn't already know the answer. Then I realized, it's just one of those things you ask. Like, what else are they supposed to ask/say?      "I'm so sorry for your loss" is to Funerals as "Are you excited?" is to Weddings. But between trying to keep it a secret from our students and also just being consumed with school, I didn't really feel excited until the Friday before. And then that Friday morning I woke up with that tiny itch or twinge or whatever name you give to that feeling of "Oh no I'm getting sick." Shit.

I pounded vitamin C and other vitamins the whole day. Excitement took a backseat to straight-up survival mode. I could NOT be sick on my favorite day. (also Friday was my birthday... that definitely didn't matter at this point). I went home and had about an hour to myself to try to nap. Sleep is what I needed and what I'd been lacking all week. But I don't fall asleep easily and after an hour, people started arriving: first my brother then Beth. I hadn't told anyone I was feeling bad. I couldn't give the germs any more power. So I picked myself up and put on a big "I'm healthy and excited face."

After an evening of taco soup and fire pit at Joe's parents house, in which I tried my best but may have failed in appearing excited, a few of my girls and I went back to my apartment. Instead of wine we all started drinking Vitamin C followed by confessions of how we all felt like we might be getting a little sick.

The next morning I woke up and couldn't breathe out of my nose. I felt awful. It was early. I still needed sleep. It's my wedding day. I WILL feel fabulous. Idea: "I'll take a bunch of vitamins, go back to sleep, and during sleep the vitamins will aid my immune system in fighting the sickness" Worst idea ever. I ate like a bite of bread (never take vitamins on empty stomach...check) then downed 5 different vitamins or herbs. Oh so dumb. Never take vitamins on a bite of bread either. I sat on the couch for 5 minutes then ran to the toilet to expel those vile vitamins. Beth woke up in panic, assuming I had a virus. No, no. Just vitamin overdose. I deserved all the making-fun-of I got for this stupid act of self-medication.

After vomiting I slept some more and all was fine. The adrenaline of the day (and Claritin D) kicked in around 2:00 and I felt fine the rest of the day.... until Sunday morning when my body succumbed to exhaustion and the sickness germs. But even the morning of consisted of "are you excited?"... which was difficult to answer with enough cheer due to secret sickness (only my overnight guests Anna, Elise, and Beth knew about sickness and vitamin vomit session).

The other wedding confession I'd like to make before wrapping up this long post will be subtitled: "Spanx potty training." I wore Spanx under my dress. Full body armor from thigh to rib cage--to create a smooth, no see through effect. I didn't have to pee until after the wedding. Joe and I checked into the Peabody. This was the time I had to pee. Should be easy. The Spanx has an escape hole so you don't have to de-Spanx. I thought I had it under control. The sound of liquid trickling into the toilet confirmed that I did. The feeling of something warm filling up my left Spanx leg confirmed that I did not. Somehow half of the pee ended up taking a detour back into the Spanx. To sum it up: I peed myself on my wedding night. Before the reception at Rum Boogie Bar. The night was nowhere near over. It was fine. I dried off and soldiered on. I think I told two other people... (it was too funny not to). And now I'm putting it here.

Professional photos will follow as soon as my photographers (Chad and the beloved Pablo) finish their editing.
I can't wait. For two weeks, every Saturday I woke up and wished for a wedding day replay:
my friends piled on my bed in the morning eating Bet's pimento and cheese
walking to High point for coffee with mom, bet, carly, adam, etc.
a girl tornado of showers and blow dryers at my apt as other friends drop by to drop off wedding gifts
caravan to Southaven
champagne out of pee cups courtesy of Anna Marsh Selby
First dance: "Love the one you're with"
and so much more.