Signs (and fears) of aging

Sure.  Signs of aging are all around in your 20's.  Outward signs.  Like weddings, babies, and other grown-up things.  Things we celebrate in the "getting old" process.  

At the beginning of June our friends Thomas and Madelyn had their 3rd baby boy.  He is a day old in this picture.  Joe is the designated small baby holder.  But Thomas and Madelyn would hear none of my "I don't hold small babies" declarations and they plopped him in my lap (with the aid of a pillow).

Little does baby Brown know all the excitement that lays ahead as his parents watch him age.  First steps.  First words.  All exciting signs of aging.

Claire celebrated (belatedly) her birthday at my house.  We tried to make it exciting... with a Reese's ice cream cake and candles.  But let's get real... we all know (and by WE I don't mean you people in your early twenties and younger) that Claire's 27 is not as exciting as Brown's first day on earth and his next 21 birthdays.  Why?  Because "getting old is the pits" --as Joe's grandma said.

I'm 29 (and a half).  I feel like the difference between 29 and 26 as far as "aging" is concerned is incredibly drastic.  Or maybe not.  Maybe it's more like 24.  But still.  That's only 5 years.  I guess the downward spiral has to start somewhere.  Why don't people warn you of things like this?  Just a little heads up would be nice.  "Enjoy those eyelashes now Emily... by the time you turn 27 they will be significantly lighter and thinner."  or "Careful with those eyebrow raises.  Those lines in your forehead will stick one day."  (If the next time you see me you look at the lines on my forehead ... I'll punch you.)

I mean, I knew it'd happen one day.  I'm not that dumb.  I just wasn't aware that it starts happening while you're still in your 20's.  When I first moved to FL (at the wee age of 22-23) people thought I was younger (18 .... one man even said 15!)  I was appalled he thought 15!  But at some point the switch flipped.  I became flattered when people thought I was younger than 27, 28, 29 or when someone ID'd me when buying alcohol.  Just like that.  Around 25, 26... something changed.  My main point is that someone needs to tell us these things!  Warn us when that switch is going to flip.  

It's funny.  We start off by celebrating these signs of aging.  Loose tooth?  Oh yay for you.  Bring on the cash-carrying fairy.  Look at that new ADULT tooth!  Send a note home from school.  Take a big toothy picture.  How about we have a "Wrinkle Warlock" --grandpa of Tooth Fairy -- and he could put things like wrinkle cream coupons under our pillows.    

Even puberty -- although it's dreaded for the awkward reasons --is still somewhat of an exciting aging moment.  We counted my brother's armpit hairs for a while as they sprouted up.  

I can still remember the day I FINALLY got to shave my legs... end of 5th grade (even though I had sneaked (I snuck?) a few random shavings before that).  No one wants to commemorate the day they first had to shave or bleach their chin hairs?  No, really it should be we celebrate the sprouting of those hairs and NEVER eliminate them.  Girls would dream of the day when they look like grandma.  They will look in the mirror and imagine where their stray hairs will grow and what their wrinkle pattern will look like.  

My most recent sign of aging (and the one I'm most comfortable sharing with you) has been my vision.  I noticed at the end of school (during the awful student presentations) that things were a little blurry from the back of the class.  Sure enough, the doctor says I'm on the brink of near-sighted-ness.  (Means I can't see things far away -- I was always confused about the "near-sighted/far-sighted" thing until I became labeled as one).  

Here's me after my first ever eye appointment.  Who knew they use more technology than just the chart on the wall with the giant E?  

Trying on frames... none seem to be promising in style (or price).

I quickly realized that I'll be taking my prescription to Wal-Mart for the cheaper frames.  The only real reason I might want to get them soon is night driving.... so that every dark blur on the road isn't interpreted as a suicidal animal I need to risk my life dodging.    

So all the superficial things suck (they really are "the pits"... grandma is sooo right).  Maybe other people don't think of them as much.  I'm gonna blame you, Mom, for this.  She's always said things like "don't sleep on your stomach ... you'll get wrinkles from your face being smooshed into the bed."  So every time I laid on my stomach I had this inner dialogue -- "watch out you'll get wrinkles"... "I don't care I'm comfortable I want to go to sleep."  .... "Ok well it's your face."   .... "Uhhh fine" and roll over.

And another thing... why the hell do we say things like "He's aging well."???  What does that even mean?  Basically it means you're old (or getting there) but don't look like it.  And if you're not aging well... ahh well, shame on you.  Pity on you.  Everything else in life is a competition and now aging, a process we all do at the same rate... 365 days a year, can now be done better or worse.  Most races you win by being the quickest, smartest... but the way to win the aging contest is to do it the slowest.  I hate it.

The non-superficial things suck even more.  You know, diseases and shit. 

On a weekly basis (at least.  Probably more.) I have some minor anxiety about getting old.  Which one of my grandmothers' ailments will afflict me?  Breast cancer?  Alzheimer's?  Multiple Sclerosis?  

What if I die first and leave Joe with 10 or more years left to live?  or the opposite? 

Visits to see grandparents (like this past weekend) mainly make these fears worse, and I hate for that to be the result of going to see a loved one.  But it is what it is. 

These fears make it really difficult to live in the moment-- which is all you really can do, right?  Enjoy the now cause you can't control these things.  

Well,  I say that but I did register on Luminosity.com --a brain website that gives you daily brain games to play and train your brain with.  A bunch of silliness really, but still.  Why not?  Fear is a strong motivator.   

So one night, when I couldn't fall asleep and these fears popped into my brain, I thought that I would blog about them.  Put them out there.  Maybe that would help them go away... or at least lessen.  SURELY I'm not the only one that thinks of these things at 29?  Surely I will not spend the rest of my aging life agonizing about every wrinkle or age spot?  

I'm planning to get kittens at the end of the summer.  Maybe that will occupy my worries instead of these others that have plagued me for the last 2 or 3 years.   But for those of you in your 30's... come on... spill it.  What's next?

Planes, plains and automobiles.

Example of the anthill I referred to in last post:

This pic is the girls of 5th period plus me... they were a fun class. 

Then it's ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sweet freedom.   

We are getting better at being hosts, and we really really like it ... We had several teachers over on the afternoon school let out.  And we had the two guys I play guitar with at church and their girlfriends over one night.  Here they are gathered around my granddaddy's table.  (My mom and aunt are looking at this picture and saying, "SEE, Look how many people can sit around a round, pedastal table.  You just can't sit that many people around a regular table as you can a round pedastal table...")

Some improvements have been made in regards to the house....

Like this new table in the happy nook

and these plants Joe planted by the mail box.

And just regular grooming and maintenance.  

So far, I haven't exactly found a place in the yard work.  My job has mainly been turning off the sprinkler and snapping pictures (from the window) of all moments when the husband looks extra precious at work.  

 As usual we started with Special Session 1 at Camp Bratton Green where we got to be married at camp for the first time.   Which means we got to stay in the same cabin... which really means we only have to pack one tube of tooth paste!

On our way to camp... Joe had been awake since about 5:30 (so excited he was)

 Then a few lazy days interrupted by a couple weekend trips to a bachelor party for Joe and a wedding in Alabama.

 Joe began learning Yankee Doodle on the mandolin.  

(we've decided we may need to get summer jobs next year.)

 This past weekend we went Nebraska.  NO, not to the College World Series to see MS State play baseball (my crew was composed exclusively of 3 Ole Miss fans and one "I don't care" fan).  Joe's grandmother lives there.  I mean, really, what are the odds we would plan a trip to NE during the exact time of the CWS?  Everyone in Omaha (airport people/ car rental guys) assumed that's what we were there for first.  But no.  Joe hasn't seen his grandma in about 8 years.  A couple months ago Joe watched some documentary on older people and it inspired him to call his grandma which, in turn, sparked some sentimental tears and inspired him to "plan" a trip to see her.  I say "plan" because for Joe this means calling up his sister Marguerite, encouraging her to come with her husband Chris, which ultimately results in her planning the trip for us.

Total trip:   Friday - Monday.  

Friday we ran into a 4-hour weather delay in the Chicago airport.  Joe is a somewhat restless traveler in the best of conditions.  The 4 delay almost sent him over the edge. 

A good citizen did stop and ask if he was ok.  

"No ma'am, he just does this."

Besides Grandma, I met 3 cousins (plus their spouses), 1 uncle and 1 aunt.  Oh and one new little cousin.

Saturday:
Breakfast... Uncle Randy has it prepared by like 7:30 even though no one (including Grandma) woke up til 8:30 or 9.  Eggs are room temp and unsalted (confirming the rumors we'd heard about bland, mid-west food).  Cousins begin to invade the house.

Morning Activity:   Boys go to car museum.  Girls do what girls do.  Pedicures.

Me and two cousins.

And Grandma got her first manicure...ever... at age 88.  She talked about it over and over again throughout the rest of the weekend.  

Grandma and Marguerite in below picture.  Marguerite said Grandma barely moved during the whole manicure.  She didn't want them to cut her finger off. 

The rest of the afternoon went like this:

-Eat at local diner.
    Grandma talks about manicure
-Walk through down town
-Dairy Queen
-naps at Grandma's - ooo and ahhh at the 3 month baby cousin that came to town.  Grandma
  shows off her manicure to the newest arrival of cousins.
-Dinner at Ruby Tuesdays
-Some tv time then bed time.


Sunday:
-Breakfast - same idea as Saturday.  Less cousins.  Grandma's manicure looks great with church outfit
-Church with Grandma... this made her very happy.
-Lunch - Uncle Randy brings KFC home.  We had literally just eaten breakfast.
-Drive to Grandma's old house and to see the assisted living place she hopes to live.  (This was a
  caravan of at least 4 vehicles.)
-Back to Grandma's.  Ooo and ahhh over baby cousin some more.
-All cousins depart.  Joe, Marguerite, Chris and I go to movies.  World War Z  (more snacks are eaten)
-Dinner - leftover chicken but Uncle Randy had provided us with Chinese take-out menus just in case.
-Park with Grandma.  Really pretty park.  Had a tower we climbed.

After eating and sleeping for 2 days straight, if felt awesome to run up some stairs. 

Things about Nebraska I/we noticed:  

-Pretty pretty land.  However we were disappointed that the corn wasn't full grown yet.  There were times while driving that we could've easily been cruising through the MS delta. 

-Lots of wind.  Little humidity

-Little to no black people.  Which we really noticed when at the movies a preview came on for Anchor Men 2... Will Ferrell makes some ass-like racial comments at a table full of black people.  I think if we'd been in a theater with more black people it would've gotten more laughs.  Maybe the Nebraskans don't get those kind of jokes since that culture isn't a strong presence in NE.  Or maybe it just wasn't funny.   Either way- I saw maybe 2 black people the whole time.  And one was from west Africa.  

-Top local news stories are about farming and reports of yearly deaths in giant grain holders.    

-If the southern accent makes a person sound a little stupid (even when he/she says smart things) then the mid-west accent makes people sound like nerds.   

-Nebraska dictionary:   guys and gals,  what else ya got there, oh my gash (pronounce my like "eye"), ruts (instead of roots), pick-up (not truck or pick-up truck.. just a pick-up), and "I suppose" used as a response for more than an answer to a question.  Example:  someone says, "Oh my gash that's a pretty pick-up"  you respond with "I suppose." 

-One of the cousins' names was Myra (I think spelled Mira actually) -- which I've decided is maybe the most midwestern name.  Much like double names are to the south, I think midwestern names need some strong vowel action.

-"Rednecks" exist everywhere.  But even though they look like rednecks in NE (jeans, boots, "pick-ups") they don't sound like it.  Look country.  Sound nerdy.  

Finally got home Monday night after a 14-hour travel day: 

3 hour car drive to Omaha

1 hour 15 min. flight to Chicago

1 hour 45 min. flight to Jackson

3 hour drive to Oxford   

buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I took several pictures of old pictures around Grandma's house.  I will leave you with one of my favorites of Joe's family (pre-Susan).