Spanish Pipedream: September 2013

The latest additions to house life: kittens, porch furniture and plants.

Kittens are obviously the most exciting. So I’ll save the best for last.

Porch Furniture:

2 Saturdays ago we were at home depot (like ya do once you own a home) and we passed by the end of summer sale furniture. This cute little patio set was sittin there basically calling our name. We sat, said, “hmm,” then left.

Dilemma:

We needed furniture for back porch.

But we are also on a budget.

But it is on sale and it is almost beautiful Fall, porch-sittin weather.

But we are on a budget.

But if we don’t get it now they won’t have it til spring and prices will be sky high.

But we just got kittens (which = expensive kitten vaccines)

But but but

End of dilemma resulted in the purchase of furniture after I walked by our empty screen porch and envisioned just how cute the navy blue furniture would look against our mustard colored house.

Trying it out at the Depot

Assembling friends

PLANTS

Last Saturday we found ourselves back at home depot…where we will certainly be for many Saturdays for the rest of our lives. We’ve been almost killing this hydrangea plant given to us by Gaga (my cousins’ grandma). We kept forgetting to water it. Then we put it out in the sun…cause plants need sun. Then it looked worse. It came time to plant. (because now I know you plant things early fall). And if we didn’t get it planted it was most certainly gonna die. Off to home depot we went to buy it a friend. It’s a good thing for Google cause home depot workers know NOTHING about the plants they sell. We learned from Google that hydrangeas only need a few hours of morning sun. Oops.

Once we found the perfect, partially shady spot we started digging. Then we struck concrete. Concrete was apparently permanent and important (our house foundation extending from porch…and kinda ruining our plant vision). No worries. We got it done and had our first gardening experience. New hobby? That’s a little ambitious to say at this point. The whole time we were working I kept expecting a car to stop, see how clueless we were, and come help. At first, Joe was digging while I snapped pics.

Joe—“No. You are gonna put this on the blog. People say ‘oh I saw you on the blog he he he!’ What do you say about me on the blog. You make fun of me?”

What else should I have done? We only had one shovel. Then, my turn with shovel. (now I know it only takes ~3 minutes to get a shovel thumb blister)

--Mother said you could always tell a lady by her hands.-- Scarlet

Weenie hands. Need gloves. Hopefully Gaga plant makes it. It looks pretty pitiful next to Home Depot plant.

Home Depot Plant

Gaga Plant

KITTENS

I have now had kittens for almost 2 months. I have had 3 big goals in life. 1) Be on permanent staff at Camp Bratton Green-CHECK 2) Live abroad –CHECK. And once those two things were fulfilled my 3^rd big life goal was to get kittens. 2 kittens--CHECK. After a tiny, internal debate of whether to get kittens from people giving away kittens or adopt from a shelter I settled on going to a shelter. Shelter trip was rough. I’m already worked up and nervous about seeing all the sad, caged faces. Sarah McGlaughlin might as well have been playing in the background.

Joe and I enter:

Front Desk Lady: can I help you?

Me: yes I’d like to adopt 2 kittens

FDL: oh well let me tell you about Lavender, an adult kitten who is sweet, a little feisty but needs a good home.

Me: (guilt setting in on my already grief-stricken heart as it listened to all the caged animals I couldn’t take home) –oh.. well.. I wanted kitten kittens.

FDL: oh ok. First room on the right.

(clearly, it is near the end of the road for Lavender)

Grrrrr. How dare you, Front Desk Lady. But from there on out all the “adult kittens” I saw were Lavender. Joe and I enter first room of cats and I start crying. How can I pick two? Especially out of a cage with four. Especially when Lavender is staring at me from every cage. Joe did not know what to do with me. We went to second kitten room and he walked over to this cage with two black and white kittens. “Emily, what about these?” I glanced over. Saw that there were just two, young kittens and said, “yeah. Fine. Those are fine. Let’s go.” I had to wait til the next day for the “adoption counselor” (aka this recent college grad who seemed way in over her head) to do all the paper work. I wanted to say, “Excuse me? you want me to wait a day?... Y’all do want to get rid of animals here right?”

Apparently there is an application process and an application was already in on “Charles.” But my application won since I wanted them both. Charles and Dudley were there shelter names. New names: Charles Mooey Poppins and Dudley Richard Parker. They go by Moo and Richard Parker. Moo, cause he looks like a cow and just watch Life of Pi for explanation of Richard Parker. Do not call him Richard. Or RP. It’s Richard Parker. But you are welcome to say it with an Indian accent.

So far they are still confined to our bathroom at night. They are mainly inside cats for now… until their neuter date. They still just wanna play throughout the night and Moo is very vocal. He meows if he finds himself alone. And one of his self-comforting habits is to gently gnaw on my fingers. So bathroom it is for now.

Another problem –and this is gross—is Richard Parker’s poo. One Monday night I was about to leave when I saw Richard Parker going #2 in litter box. Then I saw the last of his poo still hanging on. It’s ok. It’ll fall. Oh no. It’s not falling. And now the kitten is on the move. Crap. I grab a paper towel, slam the bathroom door shut, grab cat ..but I know, even as I go to grab the swinging poop, that this is a bad idea. I only end up smearing most of the poop into his white hiney. Crap. I run the tub water. This is going to get ugly. I throw a towel in the tub cause I heard cats hate slippery surfaces during bath time. Wrong. Cats hate water during bath time. There’s no other choice. I can’t let my cat run around with poo on his butt. I smush his rear into the water. He starts meowing. And frantically trying to escape. I’m swishing and swiping with paper towel. I gag. Now Richard Parker is wailing. Moo is on the other side of the door. Now Moo is wailing. For all he knows I am in there trying to kill his brother. It sounds like I am killing them both.

So the problem is Richard Parker had eaten (and not digested) my head hair. And poo was dangling from said head hair. I thought it was because their food was near my hair drying and brushing station. I moved hair station. But this hasn’t fixed the problem. Then the other night Richard Parker pukes. Moo starts to sniff the puke. But Richard Parker is still puking and Moo is still sniffing. Now there is puke on Moo’s head. Now Richard Parker has stepped in his own puke. A hot mess. He puked two more times that night. My theory is the puke is related to the hair eating issue. Now I’m close to confirming the theory as I have seen Richard Parker gobble up two hair/dust bunnies in the last 2 days. Next effort: vacuum the whole house every day. Today we found a little poop smear on living room windowsill. We also have brown floors. So if poop is hanging on and falling off in the house… we may never know it. Until it shows up on our big white club chair. I have never had this issue with a cat in my life of owning cats. Besides this minor issue I absolutely love having two kittens. Really I do. They play with each other, bathe each other, pee with each other (even though they are getting to big to use litter box at the same time… this will certainly result in a mess soon) and sleep with each other. The most beautiful kittens ever.

3^rd life goal fulfilled. Any suggestions for a 4^th? And don’t you dare say human babies. I am maxed out on things I have to care for.

And now for cute fest. (I take an embarrassingly amount of self portraits with them)