Tied to an anthill

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One time, when we were like 10 and 12, my dad entered us (Dylan, Dad, and me) in the country club’s “Father-Daughter, Father-Son Golf tournament.”  A weekend long tournament with two kids who A) weren’t that interested in golf and B)were definitely not good at golf… oh and C) I think we did this two years in a row.   Not really sure why Dad did this.  I suppose it had its fun moments.  While it’s a very memorable experience, we (as a family) don’t necessarily refer to it as a fond memory...mainly because our baby raccoons were killed by the next-door neighbor-dogs the last morning of one of the tournaments. 

The best part of the whole thing was when the local news camera came around and interviewed my dad and the other dad in our golfing group.  When asked how the weekend had been my dad answered, “Oh, it’s kind of like being tied to an anthill.”  Needless to say they weren’t really looking for that answer, and in the final cut they used the other dad’s cheesy answer about how great it was to spend time with his son who was home from school, or some BS, and then just a brief clip of my dad swinging his golf club like a pro. 

This is what the last days of school are like.  Between state testing, AP testing and field trips… there isn’t a day when you have a whole class at once.  And even if you did, there’s no way you could do anything too academic with them.  Nearing the end of April you can start to feel the tension of rebellion building in their teenage temperaments as you hesitantly ask them to---read p. 212, do Actividad 9, or GOD FORBID take in new information you’re trying to teach.  Once they start taking daily AP or State tests…they’re done.  Not to mention you are also done.  You, as a teacher, have no creative energy left in you.  So you’re left with what can only be described as baby-sitting and as much as you’d like to think high school kids can handle just chillin’ and talking to each other… they can’t.  They are just as antsy and energetic as 4-year-olds at times.  Here is one video of Joel (giant, power lifting champ) coming up with an activity one day when 4th period had been held for like 45 minutes longer than normal (due to testing). 

So you gotta find something that keeps them busy but doesn’t require too much brain work.  My solution to this was to make them do presentations this past week.  Each Spanish 2 student doing a 3-minute presentation in Spanish.  Could water-boarding possibly be that painful?  Ok, that’s insensitive.  Water-boarding is OBVIOUSLY 1,000,000 times worse than sitting through 90 awful presentations, but I’m telling you…it was, at the very least, awful and something I probably won’t do again next year.  One kid mainly read off the multiple awards his baseball player won AND the year in which he won them.  (FYI, “1978” in Spanish is read “mil novecientos setenta y ocho”… imagine how long it took him to read like 9 of those off).  My students were even looking at me and saying, “Mrs. Maples, this has to be awful for you.  It’s been awful for us to sit through but you know how bad their Spanish actually is.”

My options were either terrible, torturous Spanish presentations or being tied to an anthill the whole week (instead of just these last two days.)  Neither option is ideal.  But at this point I’m writing this from the end of the tunnel.  Today was the last day of classes and it’s glorious.  You look back and think, “wow, not sure how I made it, but here I am…I’ve actually made it, and I managed to NOT cuss out a kid.” 

Sweet sweet summer is here at last.. well in a week it will be... when the anthill will finally cave and let me go free.  

  

Happy Nook, Prom, and House guests

Thing about living in a house #15) ---- The sound of people cutting grass ... This happens mostly on the weekends but the sound could also be during the week.  Back in apartment life you may have a crew of leaf blowers and weed eaters come by once a week... but that would just swoosh right on by in like 5 minutes.  The hum of neighborhood grass cutting can possibly be heard all day depending on which neighbor starts cutting when. 

In case I haven't made it clear, my aunt Bet is our interior decorator.  She gets the credit for what has been happening with our furniture, etc.   Over spring break she helped us pick out these chairs and fabric to go with our super fun kitchen rug.  Before we even moved into the house I had a vision for a little happy kitchen nook for reading, coffee, visiting, ya know ... all things happy.  So I've been awaiting these chairs even before I had them picked out in reality. 

Friday April 18 I get the call.  The chairs have arrived.... in Sherman, MS.  Joe runs home to switch out my car for his (small) truck during his planning period.  We thought we were set.  Didn't think twice about anything else we might need to get these chairs (and ottomans) home.  Sherman is only 40 minutes away.  

As they load the first chair into the back of the Ford Ranger we realize we are not all set.  All four pieces of furniture are NOT going to fit in the back.  We do not have any rope to tie them down.  For some damn reason this furniture warehouse does not have any either.  It's fine.  I'll ride in the back cab (no back seats in this whittle truck) and we'll shove the ottomans in the front seat. 

 Leaving the store.  Thanks for all your help, Premier (said with sarcasm)

Here is the best I could do in capturing my predicament.

                                                My view from the back

We thought we had everything under control.  I was watching the chairs (wrapped in plastic) in the back and Joe pushed the gas to about 55 as we pulled onto the highway.  The plastic really started flapping... and acting more like a sail than protective covering... just as Joe increased the speed one chair started moving.  The wind was pushing it back towards the other chair.  

I start saying, "Whoa... whoa whoa..."

Then it tilted forward and it's rear end was in the air.

"Stop STOP STOP"

Just as I was preparing myself to watch my new happy chair tip over the side and crash into 5 pieces Joe managed to slow the truck and the chair settled back into its spot.  

We pull over. 

Regroup.  

Lay chairs down a different way.

Poke holes in plastic. 

Joe tied one chair down with a measly little rope he had and I gripped the plastic of the other one through the back window.  And this is how we made it back to Oxford. 

The whole way I just kept thinking, please let us make it back.  I promise to never be this stupid again when picking up furniture.  Just let us get these chairs home.  I'm so sorry cute little chairs. 

We just didn't think it through AT ALL.  But here they are.  Cute as can be.  Little do they know that one of them almost bit the dust...or highway.

I'd like to say that every weekend morning we have been lounging in cute, happy chairs but that just hasn't been our life.  First, we had prom.  Prom is an all day set up.  Theme this year -- under the big top.

Joe has always had a secret dream of being a carnie.  His hands just aren't quite small enough for the job.  After seeing this picture I think he'd make an awesome cookie monster. 

Not only did we have decoration duty, but this year I also had beauty duty for Joe's sweet sis Susan.  She's a junior.  She has hair of gold.

                                                       And this PRECIOUS boyfriend. 

I volunteered Joe and I to be her surrogate parents and go take pictures of her and her friends.  (Joe's dad will have none of these shenanigans and even though his mom is a big band booster mom... she was clearly not going to the park for picture taking)

After picture time was costume time.  We owe all our thanks to Joe's mom.  She is a costume maniac.  She rented various props from a costume store so we could have options. 

Last year was Midnight in Paris and we looked like this. 
 

This year

                                 Joe juggled fire as the kids were arriving. 

It's possible we have even more fun than the kids on prom night. 

Thing about having a house (even a new one) #22 -- the shit that goes wrong (which has its own sublist of 5,987 things)   We noticed this lovely bulge in our base board (or is it a floor board... no definitely not floor....side board?)  by our shower.  We've identified the leak, gotten the plumber to fix it and are now waiting on the builder to come replace the now black and mildewing board. 

Thing about having a house #29 --- The waiting game.  It's impossible to play this game when you work.  I can't wait at the house for the plumber or builder to come.  Luckily Joe's mom is more than willing to help us out in this arena as well as costume making....and there's always summer.

It's possible we hold the record for the most number of house guests during the first 2 months of moving in to a new home.  Overnight guests include (in order of appearance):  Bet, Mom, Dylan, Claire, Grae, Elise, Andrew, Corey and Kathryn (and their two kids), Mary Robinson.

Then other friendly faces who were just passing through...

Kristen Doster...

Elizabeth Barnett

We hadn't seen those two chicks in AGES...


We've managed a little porch sittin...... but certainly not enough.  Look how inviting.  You can come too.