New realities

The last weekend before the bottom fell out.  Labor day weekend.  

Lovely evening at the graduate.  Spilling drinks and soaking crotches and good times.

Yet another epic Ginny Davis brunch.  

Sept. 10 - "Phillip is sick" 

Sept. 11 - early wake up to awful stomach and tears.  Instantly texted Jill Pope. 

The next week - Xanadu starts.  

How does one process the most devastating news of her life and while rehearsing and performing the silliest play?  I.D.K. but I did.  

Xanadu, thank you.  You gave me the joy that will be needed to carry me through the semester.  

Melpomene and Calliope in Strange Magic.

Don't walk away... Don't say goodbye.  Don't turn around.  Don't let it die.

Many friends came to my rescue as I simultaneously cleaned for renters and prepped for Xanadu.  

Ginny was on hair duty.  

Whitney on cleaning duty. 

Via on package duty. 

Beth, Em, Anna, Elise and Via sent flowers and food. 

Never again will I question the power of ANY kind of support during shit times.  

Somehow managing to keep eating, singing, and dancing. 

But how hard can it be when you're married to Zeus. 

"Zeus is a gassy tonight, y'all."

Dancing cues:  

"Punching bag punching bag, 

Shuffle the cards, shuffle the cards"

Joe did it all on skates. 

When your dad gets cancer and then you're in a play, 2 of your best friends know exactly what to do.  

And I knew they would.  

Despite Anna being preggo and Elise going out of town THE NEXT DAY!

All the heart emojis

We will always have this roller discooooo. - Kira.

Andi's baptism (below).  Being in a church not my favorite thing right now.  Everything makes me sad except Xanadu.  Found comfort in hardcore rap.  You can't be too sad while listening to Tupac.  "Keep your head up" - Thanks, Pac.  

P.S. I'm like 2 weeks pregnant at this point but don't know it.  

Rewind:  Back in July had a minor panic attack about having kids.  I had several anxieties:  1) about what would happen to me when I got pregnant.  Would my skin erupt in fiery red cheeks?  Super zits?  Sounds like a vain thing, huh?  Well, I bet you haven't had many skin issues in your existence so hush.  

2)  Would my kids have these issues?  

3)  Holy crap I'm almost 33 and then I did some more timeline math and had some more panics. 

Result:  We'll start trying in Aug.

Getting ready for fall.  Tomorrow (Sunday Oct. 2), I pee on a stick.  Make that 2 sticks. 

1st- alone at home.  No way, that line isn't clear enough.  

2nd - Digital kind at church that says I'm 2-3 weeks.  

First call is to my nurse practitioner Katherine Elliot.  Which means

by Katherine I gotta have an OB now but thanks for the pre-nasals.

Probably owe some people apologies for limited or sassy responses to "how's your dad?" --
I answered appropriately but was short because in my head I'm screaming,
HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S DOING HE'S ON CHEMO DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHEMO?!!! WELL THAT'S HOW HE'S DOING.
I think this stage is called anger.

Weekend of Oct. 7 = Fall break.  Yeah, never mind about that EF perk trip to Puerto Rico.  Dad has cancer and I'm pregnant.  I'll be going to Meridian this weekend  But still shhhhh no telling mom and dad yet about the B-A-B-Y.  How bad is heavy crying for the baby?
Monday of fall break = boom, nausea.  Puke up blue apron all night.  Bye bye blue apron.

Doc apt. is 13th.  So I'm 6 weeks and officially experiencing nausea.
Diclegis (anti nausea meds) to the rescue even if it breaks the bank.
This homecoming Joe and I drove some convertibles with HC maids in them.  Then helped with a weenie cookout and movie night at the gym.

New game- pretend like you feel fine even though you wanna puke and fall over.
Elizabeth Barnett was randomly in town for a wedding.  Must. Fight. Through. Nausea.
Sunday brunch at BBB.

But the day before was Ann Marie's shower.  More pretending and better be careful, Amber has a strong nose for sniffing out pregnant people.

Inner monologue:  "I'm gonna cry.  I'm gonna puke.  I'm gonna cry.  I'm gonna puke."  -- No, I'm not crying b/c of hormones.  Did you not catch the cancer part? (sorry, still anger stage) -- Also incorporated some heavy metal into my play lists.

 Week 7:  10 year college reunion coming up this weekend.  Will I be able to go?  I feel so bad.
The morning = rushing to the kitchen to butter and toast a bagel then 10 minutes later I'm finally able to move and get dressed.
Luckily the day before we leave I start to feel a TINY bit better.  Somehow, I keep the pregnancy under wraps even though the food at both Millsaps events is gross and inadequate.

Afroman dance party at Hal and Mal's.

Walking to the game.  We don't play in this family with sun protection.

Watching the game on the hill.  Ok "watching"  =  sitting near the game as it happened and never looking at it.  Majors lost.

Must. Find. Lunch.  --- Keifer's is always there for me.
Get home and help Charley and Katie paint their new house.  I'm absolutely useless during this project.

Week 8:  Get ready for renters and stay at Charley and Katie's new house.  We are complete snack hoarders camped out in the above garage room... and still keeping the baby news shh shh.

Week 9:   (Nov. 4-6) Head to Meridian with Ann Marie for her shower.  Tell mom and dad immediately after walking in the door.  Whew, pregnancy talk is a nice distraction from cancer for a bit.  Told Dylan and Kristina Sat. morning.  And thus "Baby Spontaneous" was born.
Dad's suggestion:  Crystal.  Billi Ruebens.  (sp?)

Ann Marie's 2nd shower - still pretending to feel good.

Tell Charley and Katie and Joe's family once we get home.  

Blurt it out to my friends the next weekend in the parking lot of Lamar Lounge.  "Well we better find somewhere to eat fast b/c I'm pregnant" -- It was true. 

Approaching Thanksgiving and telling people.  The nausea phase is coming to an end and telling people helps to make it fun.  Because nausea, secrets, and starting to stress about insurance and daycare = NOT FUN, When does this start getting fun??